Do you know that feeling when you just connect with someone? A friend of mine described it perfectly when we first met: for the two of us, there was no work to be done. We resonated from our very first conversation. Sometimes as mothers, that feeling can be scary to seek out and even harder to capture. Between raising kids, squeezing in a run and oftentimes earning a living on top of it all, there can be little time for connecting with other women. I’ve felt that.
And then one day, I discovered Coffee + Crumbs. It’s a collection of real women undertaking real motherhood through amazing writing. I read this post about running with a double stroller, then this one about the transition to having kids in school, then this one about miscarriage.
And I felt that connection immediately. Now I never miss a post and I’m usually sending the links to my friends.
I knew I wanted to know about the voices behind these words so we snagged Coffee + Crumbs founder Ashlee Gadd to guest post on our blog today for a little sampling of the great writing happening over there. We asked a question we’ve all been asked at least one: How did you know you were ready to be a mom?
We’re giving away a box over at Coffee + Crumbs this week so hop over for more great writing and the chance to win!
Always and Never
By Ashlee Gadd
I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, all the way back to age five when I obsessively cared for my baby dolls. Fast forward twenty years and my husband and I were the textbook definition of Ready To Have Kids. We were financially secure and able to support a child. We had an extra bedroom practically begging to become a nursery. We had even spent the previous year crossing items off our pre-baby bucket list, ending with an idyllic trip to Greece. Check check check.
Despite having a) our logistical ducks in a row, and b) a life-long desire to have kids--the day I saw two lines on that stick, I completely freaked out. There was no turning back. I had spent 20-something years dreaming about becoming a mom, thinking about my future children, mentally preparing for the love that would turn my world upside down.
But I still wasn’t ready.
Can you ever be ready for that kind of love?
I wasn’t ready for the overwhelming joy and heartache and longing that motherhood encompasses, or the stamina and sacrifice it requires. I’m almost four years in now, and to be honest, motherhood still knocks me off my feet sometimes.
So, I guess my answer is twofold.
I was always ready to be a mom.
And I was never ready to be a mom.
But that’s the thing about those two lines, those kicks in your belly, that growing, that stretching, that first moment when they place a screaming infant on your chest.
It doesn’t matter how ready or unready you are. Here we go.
Ashlee Gadd is a wife, mother, writer, self-taught photographer, and the founder of Coffee + Crumbs.
Coffee + Crumbs is a collection of stories about motherhood, love, truth, and the good kind of heartache. It is our mission to encourage mothers around the world through the power of shared experiences and beautiful storytelling. www.coffeeandcrumbs.net